Almond Joy No Bake Cookies

Can we talk about Fifty Shades of Gray for a minute? I just read the first book. I have some opinions. (What? No way, right?) Let’s play book club.

We can talk delicious Almond Joy No Bake Cookies in a minute.

Women love this book. I mean swoon and fall over kind of love. I had to know what all the hype was about. I don’t want to miss out on the awesome!!

I’m sad to say I could not find the awesome. I am going to piss a lot of women off right now when i say. . Really? Really? This is the book everyone is ga ga over? Am I missing the joke? It is seriously not good. Am I just a lit snob? Is that it? Maybe I can’t get past the crummy writing to see the beauty of the story?

My inner goddess wonders, am I too cynical? My inner cynic smacks the inner goddess and says, “No”. I mean I am cynical but I can get behind romance. I have a fairy tale story of my own and a lovely husband to go with it. I’m not afraid to say that he is fantastic and my marriage is awesome.  This book. . not romance.

I don’t want to give too much away. . so stop reading now if I am going to ruin it for you.

Maybe I am being too hard on the book when I say that it seems like a veiled battered woman story? I mean I like to be man handled as much as the next woman but I gotta tell ya, if Tim hauled out a whip and decided it was time to ‘punish’ me, he would probably find himself 50 shades of single in about 3 seconds. I’ll show you punished.

Yes, she unwillingly leaves at the end. . .but the existence of book two lets me know she goes back.

Please tell me that in book two the violent smut turns to good dirty romance smut? That she learns to not be a mouse? That her inner goddess shuts the hell up? I have heard that book two is more romantic, that he chills, that she is not as annoying. I also heard that book two has so many plot directions it is as if the author wasn’t sure what direction to go. But I can’t comment on that as I have not read book 2 or 3. Not sure I will. Or can.

If this book were more like the smutty romance novels my mom used to read when I was a teen, I could see the guilty pleasure read it could be. You know the novels. . with Fabio on the cover with his flowing locks and bare, shaved chest. The ones my grandmother read first (she claims to skip the smut parts. . yea, right) and then let my mom borrow. The ones I snuck and read as a teenager. So taboo!

Those were dirty romance novels. Not smack the chick up romance. Lets say we get past the graphic abuse part of this book. . . it’s hard to get past the terrible writing. Seriously bad writing! Repetitive, too! So much repeating I wasn’t sure I could even finish the book. Truth be told I skipped some parts just to get to the end. I get it. . your inner goddess is bossy. And “Holy Crap” he is hot. I GET IT!

Ok. . .so I’m not the biggest fan. If you love them, more power to ya. No judgement. (Although you know how I am with the judgement. 😉 ) This is all just my opinion. They didn’t do it for me. I can recommend a couple good ones I have read recently if you are interested. None of which are romances, though. Maybe chick lit isn’t my scene. Although I’m not sure this really qualifies as true chick lit.

I am a fan of these cookies. I love no bake cookies. I love Almond Joy candy bars. Combine the two and I was in heaven! I had such a hard time trying to wait for them to set up so I could eat one! Or 5. . . let’s be honest!

Almond Joy No Bake Cookies

2 cups sugar

1/2 cup butter (1 stick)

1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk

1/3 cup cocoa powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/3 cup almond butter

2 cups quick cooking oats

1 cup shredded coconut

1/2 cup slivered almonds

1 tsp coconut extract

In a saucepan over medium heat combine sugar, butter, almond milk, cocoa powder & salt. Bring to a boil stirring occasionally. Once at a boil, let mixture boil for at least 3 minutes. It’s really important or they won’t set up!

Remove from heat and stir in almond butter. Once incorporated stir in oats, coconut, almonds and coconut extract.

Line your counter or a large tray with wax paper. Drop by Tbsp on the wax paper. Allow to cool completely before you try to remove them. They will set up as they cool. Store in an airtight container. Makes 30-36 cookies.

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